5.5 - It came from beneath the sink

OK, so that's one of my favorite fake horror movie titles, but in my case it's pretty close to accurate. Not the sink, though - the tub. And the it is... um... me.

Posts have been rare lately as I have started a new job, have plenty of work to do with promoting the business, and—as the title would indicate—have been working on replacing the tub in the master bathroom.

The current state of things is that the tub is in place, but not connected. The walls around it have been stripped to the studs. I replaced some rotten wood, and have some rebuilding to do. The drain is almost complete except for the part where I go under the house and cut off an old fitting and glue the last three pieces of PVC together. That's what I should be doing now. I'm stalling.

The whole issue is of greater importance because starting Friday and running through Thanksgiving, we have three sets of relatives coming to visit: my parents, my in-laws, and my sister-in-law (and her family). It will all be wonderful—except for the part when there are eight of us trying to get a shower in the one remaining bathroom.

So... my mission is to have the tub operational tonight, and the shower working by tomorrow. It won't be done, mind you, but it will work. There is a lot of tile work and such in my future, but if there is water coming from the showerhead and all that water goes down the drain, and I'm done by tomorrow night, I will have accomplished my mission.

OK, enough stalling. Cover me. I'm going in...

4.5 - Shotgun

It would seem natural to use this episode of the "play" topic, to talk about how I'm getting ready to sit out on the patio by the fire watching the Yankees play in the world series, but I can't. There are issues.

First, outdoor fires have been banned here due to lack of rain. Second, the Yankees aren't in the world series. Third, it looks like the Yankees won't even exist after George gets through firing (and insulting) everyone.

So... I'm preparing to watch the world series from my couch, rooting for the Rockies (my second favorite team is whoever's playing Boston).

While I wait for the series to start, I have taken on a new extreme sport: riding shotgun with an inexperienced teenage driver.

There is nothing quite like the adrenaline rush when "No! Don't! Stop!" is heard as "No, don't stop." Or when "You are a little too close [to the edge of the road]" is interpreted as "You are a little too close [to the center of the road]."

I don't know how the feeling compares to an attempt to break the Cannonball Run record (NY to LA in 31:04!), but I'm thinking it might be close.

I probably should go ahead and order the replacement passenger side mirror now—I can't see it making it through too many more of these excursions.

3.5 - Relief and Trepidation

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." - Seneca

Today is my last day at a job I've had for seven years. I don't think there is anyone in the building who has been here longer than I have.

I am sad.

I am relieved.

Monday is my first day at a job I just don't know enough about. I really don't much like being the new guy.

I am anxious.

I am apprehensive.

Today I feel bold, brave, and empowered.

Monday I will feel nervous, fearful, and confused.

Today I am surrounded by friends.

Monday I will be surrounded by strangers.

Today, and on Monday as well, I will go home after work.

I'll be ok.

2.5 - Hope for America

I have recently noticed many events of tremendous significance. At first glance, they seem irrelevant, meaningless—even boring. I contend that they are not.

• My Ron Paul 2008 bumper stickers came yesterday.
  
• I put one on my car.
  
• There was not enough space in the non-wiper area of the rear window, so I actually had to put it below the window on the actual painted surface.
  
• I have only seen about 10 bumperstickers relating to the 2008 election. All of them have been for Ron Paul.

It's a short list—it could easily be longer.

These events are significant because:

• I donated money to a political candidate.
  
• I don't put stickers on my car unless I have to.
  
• Especially not on the paint.
  
• I'm not alone.

These events are significant because they are far outside the norm. I have noticed that when my actions change, and there is any early indication of similar changes in others, the overall effect of the coming shift is enormous.

There are things that I like that aren't popular—but I don't expect them to be. There are also popular things that I don't like—but I understand why they are.

I am rarely first on board. I'm not the first to get a cell phone, first to get broadband, first to like (or hate!) a company, or first to embrace any new technology. My "everybody is going to want one of these" or "why does anybody do business with that company" moment is usually pretty well timed. My interest usually occurs just before the tipping point to mass acceptance. I don't usually notice it until well after the fact.

I have agreed with some political candidates in the past. I've engaged in discussions on political issues and the positions held by those running for office. I've voted for libertarians that I knew could not win. I've seen my chosen candidates summarily dismissed by the media, effectively silencing them and making them largely unknown to the voters.

Until recently, I simply had to admit that the politicians that I could support simply weren't going to win. Even when I agreed wholeheartedly with a candidate, there was just nothing to be excited about. This is different.

Very different.

1.5 - Not your father's God

Recently I have been accused of advocating views that are opposed to Christianity. Maybe that's not quite accurate. Perhaps the accusation is more that when the Christian perspective on some subject is being touted, I can be relied upon to give voice to the opposing view. This is particularly of concern to some when children are involved.

Some believe that this is due to a personal crisis of faith. These people are wrong.

While I certainly have my share of issues, belief in God is not currently one of them and my faith is strong. My issues are with all the human interpretations that I've been led to believe that may or may not be accurate—those I'm working through.

Because of my issues, I suppose I find it unconsciously necessary to ensure that alternate views, opposing ways of thinking, and the world's perspective on the subject at hand are examined.

What I believe has in the past been what my parents, my church, and my school believed, and for reasons that weren't always clear, but were never questioned or allowed to be questioned—or at least it seemed that way to me. I want to believe what I believe for better reasons and with a willingness to examine the alternatives. If my belief can't stand up to questions, what good is it?

How can I "be ready always to give an answer for the hope that is within" me, if I haven't prepared for the questions? How can I love the Lord with all my mind if I refuse to use it?

There are hundreds, maybe thousands of religions. The vast majority of those who practice a religion do so because they have been taught to do so by their parents. Most are discouraged from seeking truth, and are even taught that to seek truth outside of their religion is sin.

Any religion that discourages its followers from examining all the religious views of men, including those that say there is no god, must be afraid that there is truth to be found elsewhere. If there is truth to be found elsewhere, should it not be sought?

If my God is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, I fear no opposing view—I welcome it as one more opportunity to showcase truth and refine my beliefs. Much of what is impressed upon us religiously as children is unimportant—actions born of convenience or tradition rather than truth. Many things I have believed in the past have fallen away. The important things have not.

While I certainly want my God to be my children's God, I do not want my children to choose Him for that reason alone.

7.4 - The End is Near!

Pay no attention to the title—ok, well, maybe *some* attention—I'm just trying to take advantage of a trend I've noticed. It seems that of my seven topics, the two that garner the most response are "God" and "The Future." I must semi-logically conclude that people are really only interested in the Apocalypse, and the rest of life happens only as a means of reaching that most interesting end.

Since this falls sort of neatly into "The Future," here we go!

So, are we destined for some kind of apocalyptic end?

God-fearing folks (not all of them, mind you) have believed that theirs was the last generation for 2000 years now. Every generation could point out all the reasons why the end was near. I have a copy of "88 Reasons Why Christ Will Return in 1988," if you care to see it. I believe the sequel was called "89 Reasons..."

What is the point of an apocalyptic vision of the future? Is it a tool used by religion to keep the populace in check, on the edge of their seats, ready for judgement at any time? Is it the perceived natural conclusion of increasing political turmoil used to maintain some semblance of world peace? Is it simply a great device for science fiction? (Post-apocalyptic sci-fi rocks!)

Is the end of the world the end of the world, and if so, is it close enough to care?

I know what I was taught. I know what I've observed. I know the many opinions of others that have been relayed to me. I've studied all the theories. I've read many of the books.

Regarding the future and my personal end the conclusions are quite clear.

I'm going to be working on the house.

5.4 - Workin' Outside

Three weeks ago I said I'd be working outside: siding, windows, walkways—that kind of thing. Well, that's actually what I've been doing!

On weekend #1, I put fresh siding on the front porch (ok, the house within the vicinity of the front porch), replaced the light (the one that never worked quite right after my brother-in-law messed with it, like, ten years ago), added a new motion sensor, replaced the light switch, and installed a nifty-keen new GFI outlet (power on the porch—yay!). The new setup is really cool, the light stays on a really low here-is-the-door level until it senses motion, then it gets bright so you feel welcomed. I like it a lot, but then again I'm easily impressed.

On weekend #2, I replaced all the siding on the wall above the front porch. There are lots of nasty angles there so it took quite a while. Oh, yeah, I cleaned out the gutters while I was up there, too. Fun.

On weekend #3, I replaced the front window. Ok, that really wasn't much work—maybe an hour and a half or so, so I was a bit of a slacker maybe this last weekend, but hey, the front of my house is looking sweet!

So I'm trying to plan this next weekend (#4 if you've been keeping up). I probably should think about replacing the window above the front porch—since it's not even really a window, it's more of a storm window held into place with some odd bits of slightly inappropriate hardware. It's just about the last bit of nastyness on the front of my house, other than some painting, which I also need to do.

I also still have that vent to install, since the bathroom fan is currently blowing all that moist (FWIW: I really dislike that word) air into the attic which isn't good long term and will be really bad when winter comes and the attic fan isn't running constantly like it does now.

If all that goes well, then hopefully around weekend #6 I can get to walkways and other landscape-y kinds of things between apple picking, hay-bale buying, and pumpkin purchasing trips.

October seems to me to be one of the best times to actually own a house. You work on your house during a very comfortable day, and then as the cool of evening falls, you light a fire in the chimenea and bring out the TV to watch the Yankees win.

It's all very satisfying. You should try it. At least you should come look at my house—it's looking sweet!

4.4 - Dinosaur Comics!

Eleven days since my last post. Woah. What have I been doing? Have I been finding a new job? Working on my house? Spending time with my family? Well, yes... but that's not the point.

My normal blogging time has been overrun with dinosaurs. Somehow I—completely by accident—ran across Dinosaur Comics. There's no link here. It's easy to find at qwantz dot com, but it's not for kids (occasional bad words and not-for-kids kinds of topics) so I don't want to make it too easy (not that I just made it too hard there, hmm, oh, well <sigh>).

It is refreshing to find a comic so intelligent that occasionally (it's rare, okay?) I'll find one that I don't completely understand because the math is too hard or it has exceeded my linguistic skills. Let me pull a quick first-panel quote from a couple (ok, three) at random so you see what I mean...

• "Historically speaking, all I know are broad stereotypes! For instance, most people in the middle ages all wore dumpy clothes and spent all day hoeing."
  
• "I finally figured out how to gain the upper hand on that stupid utahraptor. I will adopt for my own the philosophy of pragmatism"
  
• "I had the most disturbing thought today...By being true to yourself, you are forever derivative!"

They also have great t-shirts which I may just have to buy. My favorite is reproduced above.

Humor for nerds. What could be better?

3.4 - Convergence or Inflection?

As I contemplate the trajectory of the collective experiences of my family, 625 days from today is a point of decision. The question that will be answered by this decision is essentially whether the activities in the preceeding 21 months culminate in a point of inflection or one of convergence.

In 89 weeks, my wife will finish her graduate program. In 15000 hours, my daughter will complete her two-year degree. 1.75 years from now, my son will complete ninth grade. After seven seasons, will it be time for something new or more of the same?

The question is essential with implications for today. While my family has a decision point 5⁴ days in the future, my crossroads are before me now. As Earth travels its next billion miles through our solar system, do I focus on the temporary, building toward that future inflection point or do I seek steadfast permanence, expecting future changes of lesser magnitude—providing stability and accepting our current life as a seamless precursor to our future beyond the coming convergence.

Do I spend the next 625000 beats improving my skills, taking classes, preparing to sell the house, and expecting a significant divergence from the current flow of events? Or is the significant move to be made smaller but now—using these next 3.5 Friedmans to build the stable base upon which all future actions are presupposed?

My actions today build momentum that will assist or hinder the future course of action. I must choose wisely. I must choose soon.

2.4 - A moment of silence

1.4 - The politics of God

I always pictured God as a republican:

• Steadfast, never-changing. No free handouts. You work to eat. A level playing field. You get opportunity and you have choices. Rules are rules and actions have consequences. You reap what you sow. Science must be wrong because creation is right.

Recently I've been seeing God as a democrat:

• Mercy and grace are decidedly not conservative values. I find numerous examples of waffling and regret—changes of mind—actions altered to comply with the requests of pitiful men. Acceptance, no matter how badly you mess up. Rules exist, but so does forgiveness. Science tells us "how," religion tells us "why."

Sometimes I have difficulty reconciling these two views.

• Unwavering vs. wishy-washy or stubborn vs. flexible?
  
• Justice vs. tolerance or unmerciful vs. forgiving?
  
• Fact vs. fairy tale or fable vs. allegory?
  
• Holiness vs. permission or condemnation vs. compassion?

Perhaps one is the God that is, and the other is the God I desire—a real God and an ideal God—but which is which?

7.3 - Happy dippy bird power

So I sit here watching my happy dippy bird do his thing, while pondering Global Intelligence and the energy choices of the coming decades.

Chevron has developed a nifty game that lets you determine the energy sources for a city through 2030, and enables you to see the impact of your choices. If you want to do well, you choose some combination of hydroelectric, wind, solar, nuclear, and hydrogen. If you want to do poorly, try to run everything on petroleum and coal.

I'd like to think that by 2030, we would find some method of generating power that no one has thought of yet.

I'd like to be that someone.

The idea of powering the future with multitudes of drinking bird toys is interesting, but some quick calculations indicate that it would take about 1 square mile of head-to-tail, side-by-side birds (that's about 300 million birds) to power three 100-watt lightbulbs—and that doesn't even account for keeping their heads wet. Apparently they are tremendously inefficient. So... although the idea has some definite visual appeal (Spencer Tunick, eat your heart out), I don't think that will work.

Maybe you only need one bird. One really big bird...

5.3 - It's nice outside. I'll be out there.

Labor Day weekend was spent getting ready to install a new bathtub in the master bathroom. "Getting ready to install" could mean preparing, planning, designing, stalling, or dreading—it all depends how you look at it.

The selected unit is significantly larger than the original, and required quite a bit of work to figure out how to make it fit right and be functional for us. Our bathroom is pretty big, but the tub will really take up a lot of space. It took most of an afternoon to create a design that might just work. The result of all this effort is a realization that the project is quite large, and will probably result in having no tub in the bathroom for several months.

When combined with the idea that we are hoping to move within the next couple of years, the extra effort to have a better tub lost its appeal. I can replace the current tub with a same-size model (but still a great tub: jetted and all) for half the cost, one-quarter of the effort, and one-tenth of the disruption to the hygenic cleansing schedule of master bathroom bathtub users.

While these conclusions are fairly straightforward and somewhat mundane, I assure you that the reaching of these conclusions was anything but straightforward and mundane, and involved a lot of discussion amongst the affected parties.

Anyway, I've decided that the duct tape covering the cracks in the tub (that have already been patched several times) will hold for another couple of months. Perhaps this project is best saved for the dead of winter, when everyone is grumpy anyway and soaking in a hot bath seems even more appealing.

For now, I'll concentrate my efforts outside. I have some siding to replace, an external vent to install, some brick walkways to construct, and a window or two I really need to replace. The weather's nice; I'd best get to work.

4.3 - Who is John Galt? Is he a gamer?

I enjoy video games. I enjoy them quite a bit, actually. Unfortunately, life is short, and the choices many, so I don't get to partake as often as I'd like. I'm sure my playing time will be even more limited as the job hunt continues and the semester progresses.

Since the kids were so great on our cross-country excursion, I bought me, er, them a Wii. What an amazingly fun piece of equipment that is. I know it has to be good exercise, too; the day after we hooked it up I was sore (my arms and back -- not my thumbs!).

I think Nintendo has been paying attention. Perhaps they've been learning from Apple's commitment to giving the customer what they want. The Wii does just enough, but not too much. It's simple to use and so much fun. I think I can even say that having played both Wii Golf and real-life mini-golf in the last week, I'd rather play on the Wii.

This wasn't supposed to be about the Wii. It's just so darned fun...

My favorite computer games have always been the ones most often labelled "First-Person Shooters." Whether you're actually shooting or not, I like putting myself into the game. Doom, Half-life, Myst, Unreal, Grand Theft Auto--all great (I can't wait to play a FPS on the Wii... sweet!... again I digress).

Anyway, I recently began hearing about BioShock, a new FPS which is set in Rapture, an underwater version of Ayn Rand's capitalist utopia gone awry. I think Ayn Rand got a lot of things right--most things perhaps--so that interests me. A friend of mine says the game is creepy. I'm not a huge fan of creepy, though I suppose half-life could be called creepy (FWIW, the Half-Life 2 soundtrack is perfect for halloween).

One review calls the world of BioShock "beautiful, brutal, and disquieting." It uses such great phrases as "moral conundrum" and "dystopian fantasy." I am intensely curious. There are few things as interesting as a post-apocalyptic world--especially one originally envisioned as a utopia. One of these nights I'll have to download the demo...

3.3 - Skills

I have about 5 months to find a new job. So far my efforts have been weak. I have discovered that most people who are looking for "software development managers" think my management skills are exactly what they need, but they are looking for someone who will still be doing technical work as well. The range seems to be somewhere between 20% and 50% technical, which means I really need to upgrade my skills to be competitive.

Somehow, after 15 years in IT, I managed to miss out on Visual everything. I can talk intelligently about object oriented programming and design. I've written quite a bit in ASP.NET (C#!) without using Visual Studio (long story). I've taken several online courses in Visual Studio, and ventured in on my own a few times, but I'm really still not comfortable in that environment

For example, in the online courses, they have you clicking all over the place in the development tool for five minutes or so, then the instructions say something like "click here to see the code you developed." So I click there and see a line of code I could have typed in about seven seconds. As a guy who prides himself on concise, efficient code, it just doesn't feel quite right.

Microsoft has this long and glorious history of making really difficult things easy and really easy things difficult, and it seems to me they've taken my simple text editor and replaced it with a screen full of menus and buttons. I'm frustrated... and off topic.

Anyway, I signed up for a Visual Basic.NET class at the local community college, and went to my first class last night. I figure I'm probably the oldest guy in the class and as educated as the teacher, but I think it's the only way I can force myself to learn Visual Studio. I've already learned a couple things that could have kept me from looking like a complete idiot in my last interview.

With all four of us going to school, it's going to be an interesting and educational fall.

2.3 - Choose your Bandwagon

Ron Paul 2008

1.3 - Holier than Me

I am a product of my values.

I have a lot of values. I value my relationship with God. I value life, respect, competence, common sense, and my time. I value family, friends, education, and (usually) my job. It may also be obvious that I also value my place on the couch, movies, ice cream, and those little powdered mini-donuts. Diet Coke and the BK Stacker are also on the list, but I digress...

I have a low tolerance for those who do not share my values--especially those values that are most important to me. To some, this appears to manifest itself as arrogance, or the idea that I think I'm better than they are. The truth is that I don't think I'm better, I know I'm better.

Any thoughts I have of being better than someone else are inextricably tied to my values. I work hard at being competent, logical, respectful, and educated. I have a very difficult time dealing with those who are incompetent, illogical, disrespectful, and uneducated--especially those who are making no effort to correct these tremendous deficiencies.

We all live our lives in some attempt to maximize our adhesion to our values, whether we know what they are or not. This is a constant balancing act. It is impossible to put all of your time and effort into all of the different things that are important to you. There are always tradeoffs.

There are those who value humility, mercy, forgiveness, and compassion. Perhaps these values are better than mine...

7.2 - Powering the Future

I have spent quite a bit of time lately pondering alternative power. Along the way I've learned a lot.

My current interest was re-peaked upon reading an article about the Think Citi. (It actually started some time ago with the Tesla--wow, what a car--but I digress...)

My main curiosity is about the Stirling Engine. I didn't realize that there was so much I didn't know about engines. My brain has been in overdrive ever since. It's the next best thing to perpetual motion. So many ideas, so little practical/marketable implementation. There must be a way...

Even if all my ruminations go nowhere, next time my son needs a science project, I've got one for him that's fun, interesting, and somewhat unusual.

6.4 - I'm back... mostly

I'm back from vacation. Time to post regularly again. Well, after the bills are paid, the fridge restocked, the bags unpacked, a new job found, the pictures sorted, a few promises kept, emails read, phone messages handled, books shipped, accounting done, cars maintained, yardwork done, computer errors fixed, and house put back in order. Essentially all the stuff I didn't do during the last month. Oh, yeah, I also need to get busy replacing a bathtub... <sigh>

6.3 - Away. Very away.

For those who wonder about my lack of posting, I am on vacation. I am vacationing from just about everything for most of July, including blogging (but everything in moderation, including moderation, so here you go...)

To keep up, just follow runningwithletters.

6.2 - Seven-Thousand Six-Hundred Miles

I have finally finished planning the route for our once-in-a-lifetime, three-week-long, cross-country family excursion. I'm still not sure where we're going, but we are leaving July third.

I have essentially mapped out the places we want to go, the roads that lead from one place to the next, and a tentative timetable for getting it all done, but there is lots of flexibility built into the schedule as far as where exactly we go and where we end up on any particular day.

It is shaping up to be a great trip. There are really only three things that concern me:

1. Sleep. We aren't making any sleeping arrangements. We're taking the camping gear, and will stay in hotels sometimes, but we can't make reservations when we don't know where we're going to be. I expect to spend at least one night sleeping in the van because there's no room at the inn.

2. Distance. Averaging about 320 miles—5.5 hours—every day.

3. Time. Add the driving time to the finding-sleeping-arrangements time and I hope we still have time to see the sights and do some fun things. Another time concern is that the family won't want to leave some places, which we must do if we're ever going to make it home again.

Here's a partial list of planned destinations: Chicago, Badlands/Mt. Rushmore, Yellowstone, Hell's Canyon, Crater Lake, Redwood Forest, San Francisco, Yosimite, Area 51, Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Crater-of-Diamonds State Park, and Atlanta.

Have any other suggestions for places we should visit? Save them for the next trip—this one's full.

5.2 - Like a deer in the headlights

There is so much to do that I don't know what to do, so I do nothing. It is imperative that I do something. There is only so much time before it all has to be done. I don't know what to do next.

The important-but-not-urgent is losing to the urgent-but-not-important. The urgent-and-important is sitting on the sidelines while not-urgent-and-not-important is already celebrating victory.

This is not good.

4.2 - When I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself

For most activities, companionship is appreciated—especially when those activities include any kind of work. Construction projects just go better with help.

Games like Apples-to-Apples or volleyball generally work better with more people than just me. Even tic-tac-toe isn't much fun by myself.

Assuming your friends aren't the talking-through-the-show-and-asking-dumb-questions-because-they-are-talking-instead-of-listenting type, watching a movie or television is generally much better as a shared experience. Sitting down to a meal with family and friends is almost always better than dining alone.

It should be clear that I'm not anti-social. (I'm not necessarily pro-social, either—I'm pretty much neutral on the topic.) Shared experiences are often wonderful, but when I'm involved in an activity that is not one of those shared experiences, I want to be left alone.

The reason for this is that it has become very obvious to me that others do not value the same things that I value. The difference between "He's busy" and "He's not doing anything" is who you ask and what they value more highly than whatever it is you are doing.

The common misconception that "he's not doing anything" is why in order to do things I want to do, I have to do them when there's no one around.

I completely understand that there are situations (e.g. friend in crisis) where just about everything you could possibly be doing is "not doing anything." Likewise there are situations where just trying to come up with something to do would be considered "busy."

Here's a quiz. Imagine a person performing each activity listed below. For each activity decide whether the person is "Busy" or "Not doing anything."

• Adding a room on to the house
  
• Installing a new bathroom sink
  
• Mowing the lawn
  
• Doing dishes
  
• Organizing a bookshelf
  
  
• Reading the Bible
  
• Reading a novel
  
• Reading a magazine
  
• Reading the newspaper
  
• Reading the mail
  
  
• Playing organized sports
  
• Playing disorganized sports
  
• Playing board games
  
• Playing cards
  
• Playing video games
  
  
• Watching a movie on TV
  
• Watching a sitcom or drama on TV
  
• Watching a ballgame on TV
  
• Watching gameshows on TV
  
• Watching poker on TV
  
  
• Updating an organizational website
  
• Shopping online
  
• Blogging
  
• Checking email
  
• Surfing the 'net
  
  
• Sleeping in bed (3AM)
  
• Sleeping in bed (8AM)
  
• Sleeping on the couch (3PM)
  
• Sitting on the couch - deep in thought
  
• Standing by the couch proclaiming boredom

Ok, well, I had this really nifty scoring system worked out, but it got lost in an untimely switch between compose mode and html mode and I'm not going to redo it. Basically, the number of "busy" answers puts you on a scale from "slave driver" (<12) to "highly respectful of the time and values of others" (29). 25 doesn't seem to be an unreasonable score. You could probably get down to about 18 without being a complete tyrant.

Additionally, you can do a comparison of your answers to the answers of someone whose activities you want to thwart. This will facilitate discussion, understanding, and arguments.

I generally have no interest in thwarting anything, so long as it doesn't affect me. I am just not very comfortable making value judgements regarding the activities of others. I always get it wrong. I really think that most of the time it's just none of my business.

Let them do what they want. I'm busy, the World Poker Tour is on.

2.2 - The Philosophy of Liberty

From Wikipedia...

"Libertarianism is a philosophy based on the principle that individuals should be allowed complete freedom of action as long as they do not infringe on the same freedom of others. This is usually taken by libertarians to mean that no one may initiate coercion, which they define as the use of physical force, the potential use (threat) of such, or the use of fraud to prevent individuals from having willful use of their person or property. For libertarians, a voluntary action is one not influenced by interpersonal coercion.

Libertarians believe that governments should be held to the same moral standards as other individuals. Thus, they oppose governmental initiation of force, even if it is supported by a democratic majority. Libertarians believe that if individuals are not initiating coercion against others, then government should leave them in peace. As a result, they oppose prohibition of "victimless crimes." This opposition to coercion extends into the economic realm, as they generally oppose taxation and government interference in business activities (other than to forbid coercion). Libertarians wish to reduce the size and scope of government. To the extent that libertarians advocate any government at all, its functions tend to be limited to protecting civil liberties and economic liberties (by protecting private property and a free market) through a police force, a military (with no conscription), and courts."

A short animated primer: The Philosophy of Liberty

6.1 - Living for Little League

There are a bunch of crazy people that live around here. These people have children and grandchildren that play baseball. These kids are on my son's baseball team.

With apologies to the few sane ones, most of this parents-of-little-leaguers crowd is just plain nuts.

Now, I'll clap, cheer, and yell some at a ball game—like any good parent, but when some grandma starts yelling at the pitcher to "throw the pepperoni into the pizza mitt," I start to worry.

I've been to quite a few baseball games at all levels: New York Yankees, Norfolk Tides, Peninsula Pilots, LeTourneau Yellowjackets, church softball games, and many of my cousins little league games when I was a kid. I never before heard anyone tell a pitcher to "throw the pepperoni into the pizza mitt."

I even watched the NCAA women's fastpitch softball championships. Those girls are yelling stuff constantly—they never shut up—and I'm pretty sure I didn't hear any one of them say anything about pepperoni or pizza.

So I'm thinking this is really odd, when I then realize that the other parents appear to be nodding to each other and have that "ooo, that's a good one—I wish I'd thought of it" look on their faces.

Then some of them join in with some random banter about pretzels—and something about salt.

So I look over at my family to see if I'm the only one that thinks this is strange, and find my wife and daughter trying not to fall off the bleachers from laughing at these people. Their attempts to stifle their laughter are so horrendously unsuccessful that they have resorted to burying their faces in their blankets and cannot even look at these people without cracking up.

It seems the only one unaffected by the yelling of absurdities at the pitcher is the pitcher, who has just thrown ball four for the third time this inning.

Grandma seems to think this has happened because he didn't listen about the pepperoni.

2.1 - Freedom Quiz

Here are a few lesser-known quotes from one of the greatest speeches in history. It's not long, but I suspect few have read the whole thing...

• "Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy."
  
• "In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred."
  
• "We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence."
  
• "With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood."

Recognize it?

3.2 - The Package

Yesterday, we received the package.

The long-awaited Package was billed as the detailing of the incentives that my company is going to provide to those willing to move across the country due to the aforementioned merger.

The package was broken up into three presentations. Presentation 1 was the company move incentive plan. Presentation 2 was information about the company that is going to help make the transition. Part 3 was a marketing package created by a realtor.

Nobody cared about 2 and 3.

Presentation 1 was made up of 10 slides. 1-3: overview and background; 4: options; 5-10: process, execution, and summary.

Only slide 4 matters.

To be fair, there was some potentially nice stuff on slide 4 about moving expenses, storage, temporary housing, and things of that nature. Slide 4 was also quite a bit of a disappointment.

Slide 4 uses the phrases "select incumbents," "key skills," "minimize member cost," "options," and "negotiate." In other words, if I want to move, they have to want me to move, and it would still cost me, and any of the things offered on the list are only possibilities that are open for negotiation.

One of the "options" is a house hunting trip for one. One? As my wife so aptly put it: "are they going to provide marriage counseling as well?"

To me, nailing all these "options" down was the entire point of the package. Is my skill a "key skill?" Am I one of the "select incumbents?" Without knowing which options are my options and knowing what the "one-time move incentive bonus" is, I can't make a decision to move.

Additionally they want a guarantee that we will stay with the company for 12 months following the move. They won't guarantee us that we will have any job at all.

They won't talk to any individuals about their bonus or options until everyone says whether they are in or out.

As one of my co-workers put it, "if anyone was on the fence before, they aren't on it anymore."

They want my answer tomorrow.

They can have it now.

4.1 - Darn Yankees

Somehow I feel certain that the New York Yankees wouldn't be 7 games under .500 if they had picked up Bernie Williams like they should have.

The pitching rotation is sketchy at best; the bullpen is full of questions. They really need consistent, solid pitching. Bernie isn't a pitcher.

Routine infield plays just aren't routine this year. The infielders have made a huge number of errors. Bernie isn't an infielder.

They strand more baserunners than any other team I've seen. They need to string some hits together. Bernie could probably help there.

What Bernie has that's really missing is an ability to just get the job done—a quiet consistency. He brought his own and inspired it in others. He is missed.

3.1 - Creating the Plan

I've been working on a plan to hasten my own demise. While that's not the goal of the plan, that very well may be it's unintended consequence.

I am a victim of an ill-conceived merger in progress.

I work for a large company contracted to a military organization that is merging with another one 1200 miles away. Instead of waiting for guidance from the military, my boss insists that we proactively develop a transition plan to help the merger run smoothly. Since no one wants to move, he is asking us to develop a plan to hire new people, train them to do our jobs, and then get laid off.

No one seems very motivated to work on it.

Many corporate and military leaders are involved at both locations. (The word leaders here is not to be interpreted too literally.) They constantly contradict each other, and come away from every merger-related conversation believing that they are waiting on one of the other leaders to do something before they can act. Even though the expectation is that it should all be done by the end of next summer, at the current level of understanding and cooperation, my job is safe here for several more years.

Anyway, the company started developing this plan. The draft plan was developed by a few folks who conveniently claim that they couldn't get in touch with anyone from our branch. Interestingly, their ill-conceived plan says they move dead last and those who missed the meeting are first to go.

Perhaps in hindsight it seems obvious that any plan developed by a contractor is going to have the same goal: maximizing personal job search time.

With that goal in mind, the best plan is no plan.

Sounds like a plan.

7.1 - Sixteen Today

Today my daughter is 16.

As I look 5-years into the future, I consider that at the end of that time she will be 21—done with college and into "real life." My son will be 17 and completing high-school

The shock value is off the charts.

I fondly remember a time when I thought that 21 was old. I have always considered myself to be young ... 17 ... but now with 21 years of experience. My father—who is also young—turns 65 this month. I no longer have any living grandparents. The future approaches faster...

At 16, the future is wide open—the possibilities endless. Sixteen is full of beauty, grace, power, freedom ... awkwardness, fear, insecurity, confusion. At 16, all the emotions of life are running full speed—simultaneously. Guidance is desparately needed and hastily shunned.

It is a great time to be alive. Oh, to be 16 again...

5.1 - Not a Drop to Drink

If I could sum up all the problems of home maintenance with one word, that word would be water. Dirt and lack of space run a distant second and third, but water easily takes the prize. I don't even drink water—yuck.

We strive to keep it out of our homes, then purposely bring it in, only to make lame attempts to guide it back out again. There is always a breakdown somewhere. I, for one, am somedays just not happy about the whole "indoor plumbing" thing.

As I write, I have a leak in the roof, a cracked tub that needs replacing, a drain and a toilet that are slowing down, a sink to install, a leaky faucet, two pipe fittings to replace, caulking to finish, a hose nozzle to replace, and a hot water heater that I've been expecting to explode since 1996.

Dirt and lack of space make the short list because take the joy out of other home maintenance tasks. When you are laying on your back in a dusty crawl space doing a half-situp while trying to ... well ... trying to do anything (especially anything involving pipes!), you quickly understand why dirt and lack of space are two and three.

It's been raining all day.

1.2 - Sketchy Answers

While I am mildly concerned that the only responses to post 1.1 concern my newly-added list "Blogs of Concern," I will continue the thoughts concerning the posed concerns with some sketchy possible answers. You should be concerned.

1. Why does God experience regret?
2. Why does God appear to lack foresight?

Perhaps we are to God as toys are to a child. He loves them, but does different things with them at different times without much forethought. He's just going to put the playset away when He's done anyway, so what does it really matter? Plan A: Eden—that didn't work. Plan B: Sacrifice—that didn't work either. Plan C: Grace—that kind of works. Ok, I'm done. All that trusted me, back in the box; all who didn't, off to the incinerator.

3. Why would anyone who believes in God as creator of all see a miracle as impressive?

A miracle is only impressive to the one who experiences it, because while the miracle itself is trivial to God, it shows a personal concern for the recipient by the Almighty. I suppose others could be impressed by that, too ("wow, God cares about him?").

4. Why would a short time on earth determine an eternal fate?

Perhaps this is impossible to understand as our human experience is completely dependent on the concept of time. If eternity is a place that doesn't know time, it is impossible to understand. We often look at eternity as infinite time. Perhaps that is completely inaccurate.

Bonus: Do I still have freewill in heaven? What happens if I screw up once I get there?

Well, when I posed this question to my wife, her answer was that we will have the mind of Christ, so it won't be a problem. So, I said, that means we have no freewill in heaven? Her response was to hit me on the head. Sketchy, sketchy answer.

Actually, the Mormons seem to have a good answer for this one (from my conversations with a Mormon friend many years ago, and no, I don't think it's the right answer, but it is an answer.) Their belief (forgive me if I'm off a bit) is that when we get to heaven, God gives to us of all that He has, including his power, knowledge, etc. and we become gods. So, since we would be making the rules at that point, it would be impossible to sin, because sin is what separates us from God, and we would be Him.

So of all the answers to my questions so far, the only one I can easily accept is getting hit on the head. Sketchy answers indeed.

1.1 - Big Questions

Although I dread launching straight into them, the weight of letting them loom as future entries is overwhelming, so I must pose the questions. I'll save the in-depth discussions for later, but let's get them out in the open so we can see what we're dealing with.

(In the interest of not being labeled an unbelieving paganistic heretic, let me briefly reiterate that thoughts are not beliefs, questions are ok, and I believe.)

The actual questions posed here are representative. They initiate the dialogue and point to deeper issues. The answers to them create more questions.

Basic assumptions: God made everything. God knows everything. God makes the rules.

1. God made man (Genesis 1:27). God institutes death as punishment for sin (Genesis 3:3). God regrets (actually the KJV says "it repented the Lord") that He made man and destroys the earth with a flood (Genesis 6:6-7). Does not regret indicate that if He had it to do over again, He would do it differently?

2. Since God makes the rules and God knows everything, why would He make a rule that He knew Adam couldn't handle, followed by many more rules that man couldn't handle, followed eventually by Him sending his Son to die? For an omniscient being, this seems to show a lack of foresight.

3. Since God is all-powerful, why should I be impressed by miracles of any kind? If God created the universe, then any miracle is trivial at best.

4. How can a loving and perfect God put in place a system where a decision made by tremendously fallible man—in a period that is infintesimal in comparison to eternity—determines his eternal fate?

Bonus: Do I still have freewill in heaven? What happens if I screw up once I get there?

Comments welcome. Stakes and fire not so much. Steaks and fire on the other hand...

7.0 - The Future - Baseline

"Good luck in the future." My middle school yearbooks have that phrase scrawled in them dozens of times (ok, well, actually quite a few said "Good luck in the fucher," but I'm pretty sure I know what they meant).

Why not good luck now? Now is when I need it. What good is good luck later?

Looking at now from now, I don't see my good luck. When I look at now from then, I can see that indeed my future was lucky. I'm glad now that back then I was wished good luck in the future. I didn't really need it in sixth grade.

Anyway, the future has always been a topic of interest. Looking at now as the past's future provides an interesting perspective on the future that still is.

We as humans have a tendency to set artificial limits on the possible.

Alexander Graham Bell predicted that one day every manufacturing firm in the United States would have a telephone. Bold prediction? I suppose that depends where you stand in time.

The chief engineer of the British Post Office said in 1876 that the telephone might be all well and good for the United States but that it would never catch on in Great Britain because the country has an adequate supply of messenger boys. Then in 1886 he said that if the growth of telephone subscribership continued, by the year 2000 every woman in Great Britain would have to be a telephone operator.

He was right. Actually all of us are telephone operators by his standards. We connect our own calls.

To see into the future we must remove the artifical limits from seemingly bold predictions, and embrace the mocking predictions of the naysayers.

Science fiction has a long and glorious history of becoming science fact. John Brunner first envisioned a computer worm in his 1975 novel The Shockwave Rider. William Gibson's Neuromancer defined cyberspace in 1984, about six years before the WWW came to be, and long before 'net use became common. I have read about personal computers, cell phones, and even email in books written many years before these things became a reality.

To see into the future we must indulge our fantasies. If we can envision the future, we can make it happen. We probably should plan for it, too.

This is my baseline. The future is coming. Predictions to follow...

6.0 - Away - Baseline

Away is any place where when I'm done with whatever I'm doing I expect to leave.

Away is full of weird people doing strange things. Home is, too—but I love those people. Work is, too—but I've learned to cope. The 'net is, too—but I'm one of them (so are you).

Away is where I just have to deal with the absurdity until I'm done with whatever I'm doing and can go home.

Away is uncomfortable. Away is where I should spend more time.

This is my baseline. Away is often a strange place. Observations to follow...

5.0 - Home - Baseline

Home is a house built in 1931 and 195_(kitchen and upstairs) and 198_(master bathroom) and 2004(sunroom) where I live with my wife, my daughter (16 on Monday—yikes!), my son(12), two dogs, two cats, and a bird.

Home is a house my father built in Pennsylvania, where I grew up and my parents still reside.

Home is increasingly my wife's parents house—and her sister's house, too.

Home is a place where I belong—a place where I feel no urgency to leave just because I'm done with whatever brought me there.

It's a place where I don't ask before opening the refrigerator.

It's a place where I don't cover the seat with toilet paper and flush with my foot.

It's a place where, when my wife says to me "let's go home," I am—at least for a moment—confused.

Home is also a place where there is no lack of work to be done.

This is my baseline. Home is comfortable and busy. Chores to follow...

4.0 - Play - Baseline

For me, play is all about my free time and how I use it. Most of my free time is used doing nothing in particular. Although it is obviously—to me anyway—not a popular use of my time, I like it. Whether it's randomly surfing the 'net, watching TV, sorting through a pile of "stuff," or just sitting down enjoying being in my house, it is good and it makes me happy.

Because doing nothing-in-particular isn't popular, most of my free time comes out of my sleep. Everyone else goes to bed; I stay up and enjoy a quiet house. Three hours of free time means only four hours of sleep. It's worth it. No contest.

Sometimes I watch an old science fiction movie. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I watch TV. Usually I'm on the 'net: eBay, Monster, email, Usenet. Not often enough I exercise. Usually I have ice cream. Always I do what currently interests me most.

Usually that's...well...nothing in particular.

This is my baseline. Free time is important. Pastimes to follow...

3.0 - Work - Baseline

I'm a Sr. Systems Analyst (Software Development Team Manager, Sr. Software Engineer, Computer Programmer, Software Developer—take your pick). I work for a large company contracted to the military. I generally like my job. The work I do is important; I make a difference. My team is wonderful—best I've ever worked with. We do a great job and have a good time.

The management team is straight out of Dilbert.

The military has decided to move our organization across the country. It makes no sense, and management is not handling it well. They won't realize what they've done until it's too late. I'm not planning on moving, and neither are most of the people on my team. Everyone is looking for a job—the mass exodus has begun.

If you are looking for a software development management type—and you're within commuting distance of Hampton, VA—here's my resume in a nutshell:

MBA, Information Systems, Old Dominion University, 1999
B.A., Business/Tech. Mgt & HRA, 1995
B.S., CIS, 1995

Fifteen years of practical and progressive experience in requirements analysis, software application design, implementation, process development, and team leadership. Full lifecycle experience on projects varying widely in both scope and technology.

2001 - Present: Sr. Systems Analyst
- Led team of 19 IT professionals through full SDLC processes.
- Took on a project that had been unsuccessfully outsourced twice over three years at a cost exceeding $800,000, and personally designed and developed a working system in two months.
- The go-to-guy for rapid prototype development.

1999-2001: Systems Analyst/Sr. Software Engineer, SAIC
- Managed software development activities.
- Designed/developed ASP/SQL server web apps.
- Ensured smooth cross-country relocation of software development activities.

1992–1999: (Jr/Sr/Lead) Computer Programmer/Systems Analyst, USAF
- Member/Trainer/Supervisor of a team responsible for providing software for C2/C3I systems.
- Standardized software development processes - achieved CMM level 3.

This is my baseline. I like my job, but it's going away, so I'm looking for work. Frustration to follow...

2.0 - Country - Baseline

USA - I wouldn't want to live in any other country—any other country that I know about, anyway. I suppose that could change. I do have a fascination with the many micro-nations that have been attempted over the years, but I digress...

Politically, I was raised as a republican, and they certainly get some things right, but the definition of republican has changed over the years, making it difficult to see what they still get right. Currently, I'm afraid it isn't very much. They're still good for business. I sure miss Ronald Reagan.

I have always been expected to view democrats as misguided souls who just don't understand economics and capitalism, and want to take your money and give it to people and organizations that they decide are worthy. Well, I still see them that way to some extent, but I now appreciate their unwavering position on personal freedom, something the republicans seem to no longer respect.

The political landscape has to change. I don't think anyone can be happy to call themselves a democrat or a republican. Both parties are just plain lousy.

The search for a better political party leads to the world's smallest political quiz. Where do I fit on the political map? Well my big red dot is right on the top edge, one square to the right of top-dead-center. Imagine that.

This is my baseline. I'm a libertarian. Issues to follow...

1.0 - God - Baseline

I believe in God. I've read the book. I believe it. I also have questions—lots of them.

Most of my questions start with "why." I understand who, what, where, and when. I even get how most of the time. "Why" escapes me. Even more frustrating is that, so far, all the possible answers for my "why" questions lead to other "why" questions and inevitably to some conclusion that nobody likes. This I take to mean that I haven't yet found the right answers to my questions.

The biggest problem with this is that I find that I can't discuss my questions with other believers without them then questioning my belief. I don't question my belief. Why should they?

To me it is analogous to (hypothetically) believing that John (who) drove the car (what) to the beach (where) yesterday (when). I know how to drive a car; I even know how a car works. I was standing on the beach when John got there. I believe! But why did John drive to the beach? I don't know either. In my mind, if I want to get to know John better, understand him, and develop a relationship with him, I'll try to understand why he does what he does.

Is it impossible to believe, and still ask why? Obviously not. Is it wrong to ask? Apparently some people think so, but Jesus didn't. I'll take His opinion over anybody's. Even Job—the epitome of steadfast belief—asked "why?"

If you ever spent time with children, you know that as much as we want them to ask "how?" their favorite question is always "why?" If God wants me to approach him as a child, he has to be expecting some questions—especially "why?" If God doesn't mind me asking "why?" then why do so many people get offended when I ask?

This is my baseline. I'm asking "why?" Bail out now if your faith is weak. Questions to follow...

0.4 - The Disclaimer

There is a tremendous difference between thoughts and actions. Thoughts of jumping off a bridge or running a car through a crowd are common; acting on these thoughts is the domain of the hopeless, the desperate, and the insane. Having a thought does not equate to believing it or acting on it. Thoughts—like a hang glider I once rented—"may not be suitable for any purpose [sign here]."

Thoughts are abundant, beliefs less so. Actions are rare. Beliefs and actions will be labeled as such. Thoughts bear no identifying mark. You have been warned.

0.3 - My Perspective

My mind runs constantly, jumping from topic to topic, staying on one subject only long enough to get distracted by some minor aspect of it that leads to another relatively unrelated topic. I have twenty thoughts in twenty seconds. Anything not written down is soon forgotten.

I live in a constant fear (is that the right word?) that I’m missing out on something. I am always the last one to head off to bed. In the online world, when I experienced the web for the first time (1992!), I wanted to see it all. It seemed within reach at the time. I still don’t get much sleep.

I have experienced life (online and off) mainly as a bystander, a spectator, a voyeur, a lurker. I watch but do not participate; I see but do not act; I appreciate but do not contribute; I read but do not post. I like it that way. It is comfortable. It must change.

0.2 - The Plan

The plan is to rotate through seven general topics—the topics that compose my life. Within each topic, I’ll cover one issue that has been consuming my thoughts. The topics to be covered (in an order that reads well) are:

1. God – All matters regarding the Supreme Being and man’s attempts to please/ignore/attack Him.

2. Country – Politics, mostly.

3. Work – My job—lots of material here.

4. Play – Leisure activities: books, movies, sports, poker, etc.

5. Home – You would think I could just sit down and enjoy it. My family lives here.

6. Away – Originally called "Life," this is pretty much the opposite of "Home."

7. The Future – The category that almost wasn’t. I think about it a lot.

I’m sure there will be a lot of overlap between the topics, and I certainly reserve the right to revisit an issue. I’m also quite sure that some issues will get more space than they deserve. You should also be aware that "covering an issue" in no way means that I’ll have any kind of nice resolution at the end. I suspect that most questions will go unanswered, and most concerns will continue to be concerns.

Either way, I’ll keep the storm inside—and remain calm.

0.1 - An Introduction

The first post is nothing special. It's just an entry to get me started. The easiest place to start, as with most blogs, is with an explanation of the name. There are so many similarly named blogs that it took awhile to find a unique-yet-appropriate name that worked for me. I can't be sure what it means for others, but for me it is an admission that while I generally present a calm, cool, and collected front...