5.0 - Home - Baseline

Home is a house built in 1931 and 195_(kitchen and upstairs) and 198_(master bathroom) and 2004(sunroom) where I live with my wife, my daughter (16 on Monday—yikes!), my son(12), two dogs, two cats, and a bird.

Home is a house my father built in Pennsylvania, where I grew up and my parents still reside.

Home is increasingly my wife's parents house—and her sister's house, too.

Home is a place where I belong—a place where I feel no urgency to leave just because I'm done with whatever brought me there.

It's a place where I don't ask before opening the refrigerator.

It's a place where I don't cover the seat with toilet paper and flush with my foot.

It's a place where, when my wife says to me "let's go home," I am—at least for a moment—confused.

Home is also a place where there is no lack of work to be done.

This is my baseline. Home is comfortable and busy. Chores to follow...

4.0 - Play - Baseline

For me, play is all about my free time and how I use it. Most of my free time is used doing nothing in particular. Although it is obviously—to me anyway—not a popular use of my time, I like it. Whether it's randomly surfing the 'net, watching TV, sorting through a pile of "stuff," or just sitting down enjoying being in my house, it is good and it makes me happy.

Because doing nothing-in-particular isn't popular, most of my free time comes out of my sleep. Everyone else goes to bed; I stay up and enjoy a quiet house. Three hours of free time means only four hours of sleep. It's worth it. No contest.

Sometimes I watch an old science fiction movie. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I watch TV. Usually I'm on the 'net: eBay, Monster, email, Usenet. Not often enough I exercise. Usually I have ice cream. Always I do what currently interests me most.

Usually that's...well...nothing in particular.

This is my baseline. Free time is important. Pastimes to follow...

3.0 - Work - Baseline

I'm a Sr. Systems Analyst (Software Development Team Manager, Sr. Software Engineer, Computer Programmer, Software Developer—take your pick). I work for a large company contracted to the military. I generally like my job. The work I do is important; I make a difference. My team is wonderful—best I've ever worked with. We do a great job and have a good time.

The management team is straight out of Dilbert.

The military has decided to move our organization across the country. It makes no sense, and management is not handling it well. They won't realize what they've done until it's too late. I'm not planning on moving, and neither are most of the people on my team. Everyone is looking for a job—the mass exodus has begun.

If you are looking for a software development management type—and you're within commuting distance of Hampton, VA—here's my resume in a nutshell:

MBA, Information Systems, Old Dominion University, 1999
B.A., Business/Tech. Mgt & HRA, 1995
B.S., CIS, 1995

Fifteen years of practical and progressive experience in requirements analysis, software application design, implementation, process development, and team leadership. Full lifecycle experience on projects varying widely in both scope and technology.

2001 - Present: Sr. Systems Analyst
- Led team of 19 IT professionals through full SDLC processes.
- Took on a project that had been unsuccessfully outsourced twice over three years at a cost exceeding $800,000, and personally designed and developed a working system in two months.
- The go-to-guy for rapid prototype development.

1999-2001: Systems Analyst/Sr. Software Engineer, SAIC
- Managed software development activities.
- Designed/developed ASP/SQL server web apps.
- Ensured smooth cross-country relocation of software development activities.

1992–1999: (Jr/Sr/Lead) Computer Programmer/Systems Analyst, USAF
- Member/Trainer/Supervisor of a team responsible for providing software for C2/C3I systems.
- Standardized software development processes - achieved CMM level 3.

This is my baseline. I like my job, but it's going away, so I'm looking for work. Frustration to follow...

2.0 - Country - Baseline

USA - I wouldn't want to live in any other country—any other country that I know about, anyway. I suppose that could change. I do have a fascination with the many micro-nations that have been attempted over the years, but I digress...

Politically, I was raised as a republican, and they certainly get some things right, but the definition of republican has changed over the years, making it difficult to see what they still get right. Currently, I'm afraid it isn't very much. They're still good for business. I sure miss Ronald Reagan.

I have always been expected to view democrats as misguided souls who just don't understand economics and capitalism, and want to take your money and give it to people and organizations that they decide are worthy. Well, I still see them that way to some extent, but I now appreciate their unwavering position on personal freedom, something the republicans seem to no longer respect.

The political landscape has to change. I don't think anyone can be happy to call themselves a democrat or a republican. Both parties are just plain lousy.

The search for a better political party leads to the world's smallest political quiz. Where do I fit on the political map? Well my big red dot is right on the top edge, one square to the right of top-dead-center. Imagine that.

This is my baseline. I'm a libertarian. Issues to follow...

1.0 - God - Baseline

I believe in God. I've read the book. I believe it. I also have questions—lots of them.

Most of my questions start with "why." I understand who, what, where, and when. I even get how most of the time. "Why" escapes me. Even more frustrating is that, so far, all the possible answers for my "why" questions lead to other "why" questions and inevitably to some conclusion that nobody likes. This I take to mean that I haven't yet found the right answers to my questions.

The biggest problem with this is that I find that I can't discuss my questions with other believers without them then questioning my belief. I don't question my belief. Why should they?

To me it is analogous to (hypothetically) believing that John (who) drove the car (what) to the beach (where) yesterday (when). I know how to drive a car; I even know how a car works. I was standing on the beach when John got there. I believe! But why did John drive to the beach? I don't know either. In my mind, if I want to get to know John better, understand him, and develop a relationship with him, I'll try to understand why he does what he does.

Is it impossible to believe, and still ask why? Obviously not. Is it wrong to ask? Apparently some people think so, but Jesus didn't. I'll take His opinion over anybody's. Even Job—the epitome of steadfast belief—asked "why?"

If you ever spent time with children, you know that as much as we want them to ask "how?" their favorite question is always "why?" If God wants me to approach him as a child, he has to be expecting some questions—especially "why?" If God doesn't mind me asking "why?" then why do so many people get offended when I ask?

This is my baseline. I'm asking "why?" Bail out now if your faith is weak. Questions to follow...

0.4 - The Disclaimer

There is a tremendous difference between thoughts and actions. Thoughts of jumping off a bridge or running a car through a crowd are common; acting on these thoughts is the domain of the hopeless, the desperate, and the insane. Having a thought does not equate to believing it or acting on it. Thoughts—like a hang glider I once rented—"may not be suitable for any purpose [sign here]."

Thoughts are abundant, beliefs less so. Actions are rare. Beliefs and actions will be labeled as such. Thoughts bear no identifying mark. You have been warned.

0.3 - My Perspective

My mind runs constantly, jumping from topic to topic, staying on one subject only long enough to get distracted by some minor aspect of it that leads to another relatively unrelated topic. I have twenty thoughts in twenty seconds. Anything not written down is soon forgotten.

I live in a constant fear (is that the right word?) that I’m missing out on something. I am always the last one to head off to bed. In the online world, when I experienced the web for the first time (1992!), I wanted to see it all. It seemed within reach at the time. I still don’t get much sleep.

I have experienced life (online and off) mainly as a bystander, a spectator, a voyeur, a lurker. I watch but do not participate; I see but do not act; I appreciate but do not contribute; I read but do not post. I like it that way. It is comfortable. It must change.

0.2 - The Plan

The plan is to rotate through seven general topics—the topics that compose my life. Within each topic, I’ll cover one issue that has been consuming my thoughts. The topics to be covered (in an order that reads well) are:

1. God – All matters regarding the Supreme Being and man’s attempts to please/ignore/attack Him.

2. Country – Politics, mostly.

3. Work – My job—lots of material here.

4. Play – Leisure activities: books, movies, sports, poker, etc.

5. Home – You would think I could just sit down and enjoy it. My family lives here.

6. Away – Originally called "Life," this is pretty much the opposite of "Home."

7. The Future – The category that almost wasn’t. I think about it a lot.

I’m sure there will be a lot of overlap between the topics, and I certainly reserve the right to revisit an issue. I’m also quite sure that some issues will get more space than they deserve. You should also be aware that "covering an issue" in no way means that I’ll have any kind of nice resolution at the end. I suspect that most questions will go unanswered, and most concerns will continue to be concerns.

Either way, I’ll keep the storm inside—and remain calm.

0.1 - An Introduction

The first post is nothing special. It's just an entry to get me started. The easiest place to start, as with most blogs, is with an explanation of the name. There are so many similarly named blogs that it took awhile to find a unique-yet-appropriate name that worked for me. I can't be sure what it means for others, but for me it is an admission that while I generally present a calm, cool, and collected front...