3.2 - The Package

Yesterday, we received the package.

The long-awaited Package was billed as the detailing of the incentives that my company is going to provide to those willing to move across the country due to the aforementioned merger.

The package was broken up into three presentations. Presentation 1 was the company move incentive plan. Presentation 2 was information about the company that is going to help make the transition. Part 3 was a marketing package created by a realtor.

Nobody cared about 2 and 3.

Presentation 1 was made up of 10 slides. 1-3: overview and background; 4: options; 5-10: process, execution, and summary.

Only slide 4 matters.

To be fair, there was some potentially nice stuff on slide 4 about moving expenses, storage, temporary housing, and things of that nature. Slide 4 was also quite a bit of a disappointment.

Slide 4 uses the phrases "select incumbents," "key skills," "minimize member cost," "options," and "negotiate." In other words, if I want to move, they have to want me to move, and it would still cost me, and any of the things offered on the list are only possibilities that are open for negotiation.

One of the "options" is a house hunting trip for one. One? As my wife so aptly put it: "are they going to provide marriage counseling as well?"

To me, nailing all these "options" down was the entire point of the package. Is my skill a "key skill?" Am I one of the "select incumbents?" Without knowing which options are my options and knowing what the "one-time move incentive bonus" is, I can't make a decision to move.

Additionally they want a guarantee that we will stay with the company for 12 months following the move. They won't guarantee us that we will have any job at all.

They won't talk to any individuals about their bonus or options until everyone says whether they are in or out.

As one of my co-workers put it, "if anyone was on the fence before, they aren't on it anymore."

They want my answer tomorrow.

They can have it now.