5.6 - It came from beneath the sink... Again!

It's been one year since my last "Home" post. Seven posts a year makes me... well... not a very good blogger, but since the master bathroom isn't in significantly better shape than it was one year ago, I have much bigger issues.

Fortunately, there are two holidays in my immediate future. First of all, Thanksgiving is coming. Thanksgiving is, by far, the greatest holiday. For our family it is a week-long celebration that is pure joy. It is all about two things: family and food. Throw in a strange variety of games and contests, and add in discussions on a wide variety of disparate topics, and it is the most enjoyable week in my year.

The second holiday in my immediate future is Veteran's Day. This holiday is important to me for many reasons, but unfortunately the focus this year is on what I can accomplish, since I'm the only one in the house that gets the day off. I need to make some progress on that bathroom. Wish me luck...

4.6 - Last shred of hope

I suppose that four months of job woes at the top of the blog is enough for anyone.

Much has changed in the last four months, some good, some not so good.

The one thing that remains is baseball. Seven games out; seven games to go.

It's time for a miracle only the Yankees could ever envision pulling off.

3.6 - Trepidation Redux

I've been at my new job for seven months now. The best indicator of how it's going is probably the several boxes of work stuff that are still in my car that I expected to make its way from my old desk to my new one. I suppose that I feel that taking them in is a waste of time.

I took a purely technical software development job, since most of the management positions available were hybrid positions—half management, half technical—and some of my tech skills were a bit outdated. I figured I'd take a step back to get up to speed.

The technical part is going fairly well. I'm learning stuff and gaining experience—exactly what I expected. What I didn't expect was how frustrating it is to be a manager in a technical role working for a management team that doesn't seem to really get software development in a culture that's designed for failure.

With the domain knowledge needed here, it probably takes a year just to have any idea what you're talking about (notice I'm not there), yet the turnover rate is astounding. We lost three really good developers—cool people who were great to work with—within two months of my arrival—and the guy who interviewed me was gone before I got here. One new hire lasted a week. This week we're losing another developer, so of the four of us that remain, only one has been here longer than me, and the other two are plotting their escape.

It was the right job at the right time. That time is quickly fading.

If anyone is looking for a software development manager... <sigh>

2.6 Larry, Moe, and Curly

It doesn't really matter what's printed on my ballot. Given the current choices, I'm writing in Ron Paul.

The time for R3VOLUTION is now.

1.6 ...and ye shall find.

Topic #1 has become a problem for me lately. I tend to stall out when I get to it—in this case for almost two months. It's not for lack of material or lack of interest. It's because the things I want to write about tend to induce others to label me a "seeker," and frankly that is tremendously annoying.

When it comes to God, the "who," "what," "where," and "when" are the easy parts. Even the "how" isn't really a stretch when your God is as big as mine. This leaves "why" as the only truly interesting question. The first four questions are answered in Sunday School, when we learn all the Bible stories. "How" seems to be a study of the attributes of God. "Why" is huge—and largely unanswered.

Sure there are some decent answers to some of the "why" questions, but most of those lead to more "why" questions. The stock answers to the big "why" questions are lame, and usually come with the added "God's ways are above our ways..." line. I don't like that one bit.

Being the nerd that I am, everything always ends up in some kind of bad car analogy, so here goes...

Some drivers know enough about their car to get from point A to point B and generally keep their car running pretty well. Generally speaking, if it ain't broke, they don't fix it, but if things start to go poorly with their car they go to someone who knows more about their car than they do, and they get it fixed. If these drivers ask why the car was not working and how it was fixed, the answer they get doesn't necessarily make much sense to them, but they nod and pay and go back to their motoring ways. These people also seem to have a certain disdain for backyard mechanics.

I think many people look at their religion the same way, and they expect the same behavior out of me. They get offended if I ask tough questions, and they question my faith if I want to know "why." Does it really indicate a lack of faith in my car if I look under the hood? How is it offensive if I want to understand why my car works as it does, when that understanding can make me a better driver? Should I really apply the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" mantra to my religion? Billions of people do, and they certainly don't agree with each other. Most of them are wrong—they have to be. They only think their religion ain't broke.

As we are created in God's image—and armed with the knowledge of good and evil—answers must be within reach.

The search for "why" is the greatest undertaking of mankind and is the source of most of the adventure in life. If I must take on the label of "seeker" to explore the question, then I will wear it proudly.

May I never cease seeking out answers wherever they may be found.

7.5 - The Five-Year Plan

A couple days ago, I called the family together for one of my famous family meetings. It was, as intended, a short family meeting. I simply wanted to introduce a topic so they could begin to ponder it. I plan to revisit the topic in a few days after everyone has had a chance to mull it over.

The outcome was not exactly what I had hoped for.

The topic was simple enough: a five-year plan.

I simply asked each one to think about where they expected to be in five years so we could work together as a family to get everyone to where they wanted to be—physically, socially, spiritually, educationally... all that.

I thought it was pretty straightforward. My daughter will be 21, probably out of college and just getting into a career. My son will be 18, hopefully mid-way through his first year of college. My wife, I expect, will be doing largely what she is doing now—writing some, teaching some, wondering if whatever she is doing is really what she wants to be doing—that sort of thing, and I figure she'll pick up some new activities, like begging for grandchildren (until she realizes that it would make her a grandmother, then she'll be torn).

I expected my kids to realize that maybe they should start making some changes now to help them reach their goals—or maybe what they really need are some goals. I expected my wife to start thinking about her personal dreams so that maybe we can start to work on making them a reality.

As for me, I had already started thinking about it. My five-year plan involves a significant chunk of land and maybe a garage with a loft area (to make weekend trips to "the property" kind of like camping without fighting weather or dealing with setting up tents) and a few motorcycles. Maybe a cool project or two. A big garden.

Unfortunately for me, I also mentioned some other things, like the coming recession, the falling dollar, hoarding silver, electric cars, and getting off the grid. I think I also said something about windmills.

After that it wasn't pretty. The aftermath was a combination of mocking and depression: "Oh, no, you're not one of those people, are you?" "What will I do without my babies?" "I don't know what I want to do with my life!" "Are you going to start stockpiling weapons, too?" "I have no skills." "This makes me rethink everything I'm doing."

Yikes. In the few days since this event, the mocking has subsided a bit, but the depression has lingered a bit as well. I suppose some good has come of postulating a question. It seems that my daughter has embraced the culinary arts, while my son may be going the music route.

My wife continues her quest for the perfect direction, but has now peppered it with musings regarding new children to call her own, apparently aware and concerned by the grandma angle, but no less fearful of life without kids.

I don't know if we'll ever get back to the second half of that conversation. I just don't know if I can subject myself to it again. In any case, it was educational, and it certainly made them think.

I suppose what I've learned most is that it's best to think about the future quietly and alone.

6.5 - Calgon

Four months since my last entry. I think that qualifies as being away. I have reasons. They may not be valid, but I have them.

A quick check of my posts from four months ago reveals that I was working on the master bathroom, supporting Ron Paul, trying to deal with a new job, and teaching my daughter to drive.

A quick check of my life now reveals that I'm still working on the master bathroom, still planning to vote for Ron Paul (I'll have to write him in. What other reasonable choice is there?), and I'm so frustrated with the new job that I'm about ready to start looking for another new job.

At least the daughter is driving pretty well.

I realize that the "Away" topic is supposed to be about... well, whatever I want it to be about, but the idea was to supply witty/insightful/sarcastic commentary regarding things observed when not at "Home." Sadly, when I look "Away," most of what I see is depressing or frustrating. I'm sure this falls short.

In the world "away" from my "home," the country is electing complete idiots to run the place, the media has taken over thinking for the masses, and the financial system of the US is falling apart as we watch.

In the world "away" from my "home," the tax people are holding my refund because of a form they lost. I faxed them the missing form, and when I called a week later to make sure everything was ok, they put me on hold for half an hour (until 5:02 PM) and then told me I really needed to talk to their business office, which closed at 5:00. Several days and several phone calls later, they finally acknowledged receipt, and now they say they'll get to processing the no-longer-missing form in about a month. (They say they put a "priority" status on it. That's why it will take "about a month." Before they put "priority" status on it, it was going to take "more than a month.") It only has two numbers on it that aren't zero. It took them more time to tell me how long it would take than it would have taken just to process it. So I wait.

In the world "away" from my "home" that I call "work," we are supposed to be... nevermind. Let's just say I'm beyond frustrated, and half my meeting notes are notes to myself on things I should change on my resume.

And now tonight I get to lose an hour of sleep.

I'd better go to bed before those nice young men in their clean white coats come to take me... away...